Welcome to Holland

When Aubrey was first diagnosed in March - I was given this story. I ran across it again today and thought I'd post it since it's such a great analogy and it served as a great reminder for me today to get my attitude back on track!

You see, despite having a wonderful time at the Ollie Web Dance on Saturday I did have a bit of sadness afterwards. It made me think of what Aubrey will be like as an adult. It pained me to think about the severity of her diagnosis. A large majority of the individuals at the dance had Downs Syndrome. They were such a joy- talking, interacting, laughing, dancing. It hurt to think that the majority of people present would be much higher functioning that Aubrey will ever be. I know that sounds defeatist and negative -- but it's the truth. It's not wrong or bad it's just our Holland.

Anyway - before I get all whiny (probably too late) - - here's the real reason for the post.....

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.